Tiny Desk Concert: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Originally published on Dec 3, 2012, here is Macklemore and Ryan Lewis' Tiny Desk Concert.  The Tiny performance of "Same Love" is more powerful than the video, by far. And "Thrift Shop" and "Can't Hold Us" are just fun.
 

"8" The Play

I’d never heard of “8”the Play until a month ago, but once I knew that it was about Perry v Schwarzenegger, I knew that I had to go. I did not follow the case at all so for me this was a way to see a condensed version of the actual trial.

I expected the production to be emotional because of the subject matter. And it was. I really struggle with words to adequately describe the personal testimony of the plaintiffs and one witness.  The power of their first person accounts was immeasurable in re-telling their story. I don’t think the story could be told in any other way. No writer could assemble words that would have as much pain, humanity, and love as the first-person narratives of the actual participants.

There is alot of information out there already about 8. I have no interest in trying to rehash any of it. Simply put, I think it was a phenomenal piece of art that captured the beauty and the ugliness of humanity. I think everybody should attend a staged reading or at least watch the full length video available on YouTube.

What I would like to do is share these three clips of plaintiff/witness testimony. These three are touching examples of what LGBT people experience and feel on any given day. I selected these three because they moved me most when I watched 8 live – I did not select them for the performances of Chris, Christine, or Matthew.

20:44- 26:28 Chris Colfer as Ryan Kendall discusses becoming aware of his sexuality, being bullied, and having his parents send him to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH)

34:00-35:20 Christine Lahti as Kris Perry discusses always striving to be likable, deciding whether or not to come out over and over again during activities of daily living, and avoiding hostility

37:46-39:41 Matthew Morrison as Paul Katami discusses feeling vilified for being gay and the shame that accompanies vilification.

 

And now without further ado... 8.

As an aside from the production, I cannot neglect to point out the beauty of the theater that hosted 8. The Varsity Theater is a place where I will need somebody to take me to again and again.

“The goal of ’8′ is to show the world that marriage equality is a basic constitutional right and that those who would deny this basic freedom from loving, committed couples have only vitriol and baseless hyperbole to fall back on. The facts are on our side and truth always finds the light.”                                      

–Dustin Lance Black, “8″ playwright

Dear Mr. Mourdock

Melissa Harris-Perry is fast becoming the voice of our generation on matters of race and gender. Today she bravely spoke truth to power in a letter to Richard Mourdock, a Republican Senate candidate from Indiana. As one man with an opinion, Mr. Mourdock is not powerful. But he is the personification of the powerful and vocal view that those with a uterus do not warrant absolute autonomy over their own body.

With calm elegance and unmistakable resolve, Harris-Perry described some aftereffects of her own sexual assault. She is right when she says, “We spend our lives — the lives we lead after the attack — avoiding and managing these triggers.” She’s correct when she says, “There is no one right way to survive. There is no one right way to feel.” Every survivor rebuilds her life in her own way. Every survivor does the best she can.  I truly believe that with strength, determination and a support system, every survivor can reclaim her life and defy the grasp of an abuser or assaulter. And I agree with Harris-Perry’s final assertion, “…we did not survive an attack on our consent just to turn around and give up our right to choose to you. Not without a fight.”

Not. Without. A. Fight.

Dear Mr. Mourdock,

Sometimes I still flinch when I’m touched a certain way, even if it’s the loving embrace of my husband. I can’t stand to watch TV shows where rape is the central plot line. Even some seasons of the year are harder for me. Those of us who are sexual assault survivors call these triggers. We spend our lives — the lives we lead after the attack — avoiding and managing these triggers. A congressional debate shouldn’t have to come with a trigger warning. But apparently, Richard, yours should. Because in Tuesday’s debate for Indiana’s U.S. Senate seat, you said this Tuesday night during a debate in New Albany, Indiana.

“I believe that life begins at conception…The only exception I have, to have an abortion, is in that case of the life of the mother. I’ve struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God. And even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

Rape and sexual assault are complicated experiences for survivors. Some of us fight, kick, scream, and resist at every moment. Some of us eventually give in to save our own lives or to manage the horror. Some of us know that what is happening is rape, others of us just know it is wrong, but don’t have the words to describe why. Some of us push the memories down and try to forget, others of us battle openly with the nightmares and scars every day. There is no one right way to survive. There is no one right way to feel.

As we heal, we learn not to judge ourselves or to judge our fellow survivors, because we learn that judgment can wound as deeply as assault. If a woman finds herself pregnant after a rape, we do not judge the choices she makes.

I am descended from American slaves. I have foremothers who found themselves pregnant with children whose birth increased the wealth of the very man who enslaved and raped them. Somehow, through the angst and misery of that experience some of those women found a way to love and embrace the children they bore from rape. So I do not doubt the compassion or judge the choice of a survivor who carries a rape pregnancy to term.

But the whole point is choice. Consent. You see, Mr. Mourdock, the violation of rape is more than physical. Rapists strip women of our right to choose, of our right to say no, of our right to control what is happening to our bodies. Most assailants tell us it is our fault. They tell us to be silent. Sometimes they even tell us it’s God’s will. That is the core violation of rape– it takes away choice.

Richard, you believe it is fine to ignore a women’s right to choose because of your interpretation of divinity. Sound familiar?

Let me explain something to you. When we survive sexual assault, we are the gift. When we survive, when we go on to love, to work, to speak out, to have fun, to laugh, to dance, to cry, to live, when we do that, we defeat our attackers. For a moment, they strip us of our choices. As we heal, we take our choices back. We are the gift to ourselves, our families, our communities, and our nation when we survive.

Now let me say this very clearly to you Mr Mourdock, and to all of your shameless endorsers: we did not survive an attack on our consent just to turn around and give up our right to choose to you. Not without a fight.

Are you sure you want to have that fight?

Sincerely,
Melissa

GOB Tampons

When Saturday Night Live gets it right, they get it right.

Michelle Obama Speaks at the Congressional Black Caucus Gala

From the First Lady of the United States, a reminder to never give up,



Transcript of this speech available here.

Walk and Talk the Vote

C'mon. We're walking and talking.

Hyperbole & Facts by Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman approves this message. Go to Let My People Vote 2012 for more information.

The Breaking Bad Show

From the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, it's The Breaking Bad Show.



This was pretty great.

Penn State Panel on Face the Nation

A two part round-table discussion from the July 29th episode of Face the Nation. Buzz Bissinger, Sara Ganim, Jim Rome, James Brown, and Bill Rhoden discuss the latest with Penn State.

Part I:

 

Part II:

 



Response to the July 22 Paterno Family Statement

After reading yesterday’s statement by the family of Joe Paterno, I feel compelled to issue my own statement in response.

The Paterno family is undoubtedly still reeling from Joe’s death just six months ago. Joe was the leader of their family and a sainted member of the State College and Penn State communities. Joe provided more for his family than most husbands and fathers are able. In addition to a comfortable standard of living Joe Paterno also provided social status that is likely incomparable to anything most people will ever know. This is not to say the Paternos didn’t make sacrifices for their community nor that they didn’t work hard. I have no illusions that being the largest pillar of your community is an effortless position.

Having said all that, I’m done being nice.

By virtue of the duration of his tenure with the university, his university status, his community status, and the loving adoration of countless fans of Penn State University, Joe Paterno was uniquely positioned to stop his subordinate from raping non-consenting, underage boys. Regardless to any and all benevolent acts by Joe Paterno prior to learning about the predatory actions of Jerry Sandusky, the magnitude of his failure to act is the antithesis of the character of the legend of Joe Paterno.

Yesterday Penn State University President, Rodney Erickson, issued a statement explaining why, after careful consideration and consultation with university constituencies, he decided to take down the famed Joe Paterno statue. In response to the removal of the statue of their canonized patriarch, the Paterno family issued their own statement. In it, they continue to claw back at any insinuation or multi-sourced conclusion they feel diminishes the life and times of their hero.

The Paterno family statement was particularly insulting because they outlined ways they feel Joe has been denied fair treatment by us, the judgemental masses. The Paternos go out of their way to continue to make claims of what they see as justice denied to Joe since his death.

"To those who truly want to know the truth about Sandusky, it should matter that Joe Paterno has never had a hearing; that his legal counsel has never been able to interview key witnesses, all of whom are represented by lawyers and therefore unavailable; that there has never been an opportunity to review critical evidence which has not been made public; that selective evidence and the opinion of Mr Freeh is treated as the equivalent of a fair trial. Despite this obviously flawed and one-sided presentation, the University believes it must acquiesce and accept that Joe Paterno has been given a fair and complete hearing. We think the better course would have been for the University to take a strong stand in support of due process so that the complete truth can be uncovered."

Joe Paterno was Ivy League educated, a devotee of the arts and quoter of the classics. Joe Paterno was no simpleton of a man and to argue that he was denied the opportunity to give his version of the events is dishonest. Joe Paterno was never the victim in this scandal during his life nor since his death and if we, the judgemental masses are unclear of Joe’s version of events, then the fault lies with Joseph Vincent Paterno.

Joe knew he was dying. He had time and he had personal, professional, and human interests in making his perspective known. As a pillar of his community for many years and as an integral member of the group who decided how to proceed in addressing the allegations against Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno had an obligation to tell his version of events before his death.

Joe gave a lengthy but unrevealing interview to Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post. He could have granted more interviews as well to continue to reiterate his perspective. Joe could have written or dictated his version of the events. Joe could have made a video recording, with his lawyer and physician present, to give his account as he remembered it. We don’t know Joe’s full story because Joe didn’t tell it.

It’s time that the remaining members of the Paterno clan come to grips with Joe’s culpability in 1998, in 2001, and in 2012. Joe didn’t claim he was victimized and his family must stop trying to paint him as a victim.

Dispatches from Days Past: My First Cat

Back in my earliest days I was enamored with Sylvester and Tweetie. It was Sylvester the cat who made me want to have a cat, though I’m certain if I’d been watching Flipper I’d have wanted a pet dolphin. That’s the way it is with five year olds - their limited world view coupled with an attitude of I WANT usually means they want what they see.

I don’t recall specifics but not having a cat leads me to believe that my first requests for a cat were denied. So when a cat presented himself, I decided to make him mine.

I was out playing with the neighborhood goon squad one summer day, blocks from home. There was this big black cat that came on the scene and someone said he was a stray. I didn’t know what that meant but I came to realize that meant he didn’t have a home. I decided his home would be with me.

I picked up this big black cat and started riding him home on my bike. He really was a big cat so I struggled. I don’t remember him fighting me, it was just a physics problem of a small child and a big cat trying to ride a bike. As I passed my uncles house, still struggling, he hollered out the window to see what the hell I was doing. After explaining that I was taking my new cat home, he offered up a paper grocery bag to make the ride more comfortable for all involved. So, I rode the rest of the way home with my new cat in a paper bag. Being a big black cat, I named him Sylvester. And it was with Sylvester that my affinity for black cats and dogs began. They were/are: Sylvester, Sylvester II, Casey, Peanut and Molly. Einstein and Biggie are my only two forays into non-black pet guardianship and although I love(d) them, I’ll always have a special fondness for black pets.

ESPYS: Pat Summitt

"And so when the girl fell in love with a sport for boys, she resolved to make it all her own."

A Stick Is Where It's At

This is Molly with her buddy Gomez. They both enjoy a good stick. Better yet is a stick in the river.

Paterno family releases statement in advance of Freeh report findings

Published: Tuesday, July 10, 2012, 6:39 PM     Updated: Tuesday, July 10, 2012, 9:42 PM
by The Patriot-News
Reposted from Pennlive

The family of late Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has released a statement today in anticipation of Louis Freeh's findings from an internal investigation into the university's response to the Jerry Sandusky child sexual abuse scandal.

The report will be released to the public Thursday at 9 a.m.

Here is the statement in full:

Over the last nine months Joe Paterno has been praised by some in near saintly terms and criticized by others as a villain.  He was neither.

As the people who worked closely with Joe know, he was tough, aggressive, opinionated and demanding.  He was also highly principled, uncompromisingly ethical, dedicated to his job at Penn State and committed to excellence.

When the Sandusky case exploded last fall, Joe's first instincts were to tell everything he knew.  He assumed the University would want to hear from him, but he was never given the chance to present his case.

He planned to hold a press conference, but University officials ordered him to cancel it.  And then the various investigations started and the legal process took over.  On top of everything else, Joe was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Two months later he was gone.  The end result is his story has never fully been told.

As this situation unfolded, Joe cautioned everyone not to jump to conclusions.   He believed that a rush to judgment and a disregard for due process would ultimately result in conclusions that would not stand the test of time.  To be clear, he did not fear the truth, he sought it.  As much as anyone he wanted to know exactly what Jerry Sandusky had done and he wanted to understand how it happened.

The hiring of the Freeh Group is the single most important action the Board of Trustees has taken.  Joe supported this decision with the hope that it would result in a thorough, balanced and thoughtful assessment of the Sandusky tragedy.  Unfortunately, recent events have raised questions about the fairness and confidentiality of the investigative process.

Over the last several weeks there has been a virtual torrent of leaks about the Freeh Group's work.  To be clear, we do not know the source, or sources, of the leaks.  What cannot be disputed, however, is that select emails intended to smear Joe Paterno and other former Penn State officials have been released.  Testimony from witnesses highly critical of Joe has been revealed.  And purported conclusions condemning the culture of the football program have been widely disseminated.  The Board promised a fair, transparent and impartial process.  These developments are a threat to their stated objectives.

When these leaks first started we appealed to the Freeh Group, the Board and the Attorney General to condemn the leaks and caution the public that it would be wrong to reach any conclusions from selectively released materials.  We then asked that all emails and other documents be released so a full picture of their research could be understood.

As purported conclusions started leaking out, we followed up with the Freeh Group to ask for the right to respond.   Since Joe Paterno never had an opportunity to present his case, we believe we should have a reasonable time to review their findings and offer information that could help complete the picture. We were told we could offer responses to the publicly reported allegations, but the Freeh Group declined to confirm that these allegations are in the final report.   It is our firm belief that the report would be stronger and more credible if we were simply given a chance to review the findings concerning Joe Paterno in order to present the case he was never allowed to make.

Since the outcome of this process appears set in stone, we have no choice but to wait for the report and respond as best we can.  Given that the report is estimated to be between 100-150 pages it will understandably take us some time to study it and prepare a comprehensive response.

In advance of the release of the report, there are a few facts we want on the record:

• We would still welcome a chance to meet with the Freeh Group to review the findings and offer a response.  We do not seek or expect the right to edit the report; but we believe our voice should be reflected in its conclusions.
• To this point, Joe Paterno is the only person who publicly acknowledged that with the benefit of hindsight he wished he had done more.  This was an honest and courageous admission that a true leader must assume a measure of responsibility when something goes wrong on his watch.
• The sad and frightening fact is Jerry Sandusky was a master deceiver. He fooled players, coaches, law enforcement officials, child service professionals, Penn State Board members, University leaders, neighbors, donors, staff and supporters of Second Mile and his family.
• With respect to the email from Tim Curley which stated, "After giving it more thought, and talking it over with Joe yesterday - I am uncomfortable with what we agreed were the next steps," the media spin that this is proof of some sort of cover up is completely false. When the facts come out, it will be clear that Joe Paterno never gave Tim Curley any instructions to protect Sandusky or limit any investigation of his actions.
• Joe Paterno did not cover up for Jerry Sandusky.  Joe Paterno did not know that Jerry Sandusky was a pedophile.  Joe Paterno did not act in any way to prevent a proper investigation of Jerry Sandusky.  To claim otherwise is a distortion of the truth.
• If he were with us today, we are certain Joe Paterno would say that he wished he had done any number of things differently.  We also believe he would make it clear that he was not an investigator, law enforcement officer, child services professional or a member of the Board of Trustees.  Joe would accept his responsibility, but he would expect others to step forward as well.

Happy Little Kids

Somewhere in my parents’ basement are photos of me when I was 4-6 years old.  I wish I’d scanned them any of the countless times that I thought about archiving all the old photos. I want to look at photos of me in that age range to study the little girl in the picture.  I know what she looks like. I know how she was probably dressed – quintessential 70’s. I know she has brown hair, brown eyes, and glasses. She’s not likely smiling unless she’s holding her cat or around some other creature.  Even if she is smiling, it’s not the carefree smile that kids that age are supposed to have.  She might even look kind of sad or just plain damaged. All these things are things I already know without seeing a photo. But I still want to look at her and cry.

I am a world class competitor in the arts of dissociation and numbness. I cycle in and out of those states throughout each day and they allow me to notice less of my surroundings. Believe me, there are times where these coping mechanisms double as useful skills. Other times I do actually notice things around me.  And as pleasant as it would sound, sometimes noticing happy little kids can make me sad. From time to time, I think back to my reality at that age. I think back to what kind of shit actually happened to me. Then I think of how zero adults ever stepped up to help me. Then I move from sad to mad. In no time at all I become numb and start to cycle between that numbness and dissociation.

I’m not jealous of happy little kids; I’m pleased that they are happy. I want all little kids to be happy. I just wish I could have been happy too.

Smoking Guns

It's times like these when being right provides no satisfaction. One does not need a PhD in social psychology to know that denial, greed, and fear lead people - perhaps even good people - to shirk their basic responsibilities.  Joe Paterno, Tim Curley, Gary Schultz, and Graham Spanier all aided a child rapist in the most cowardly way possible; by their inaction.

Matt Sandusky

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

RAINN PSA: The Secret

I'm still processing the Sandusky verdict. I had no awesome feeling of vicarious justice... no thrill, no merriment, no relief. Just sadness.

The various responses were unsettling to me - so many people wanted vengeance against the perpetrator with little regard for the feelings of the victims. Rather than discuss how we collectively make sure this sort of victimization never happens again, countless people wanted barbaric vengeance against a sick and delusional old man.

Let’s face it, we don’t use torches and pitchforks anymore but we still have witch hunts.

While I continue to process, let’s look at a new PSA by RAINN.

Stymied

I’ve been stymied these last few days.  My head’s been spinning with countless thoughts and rebuttals.  Spinning.  At a high rate of speed.  For days.  Rather than point out the examples of what has been bothering me about reactions to the Sandusky case, I’m going to point to the quote that makes me happy.

“I will never just wonder why a child is mad. I will never just assume ever again. I will always ask, and let them know that it’s okay to tell the truth about why they are upset.”   - LaVar Arrington

LaVar Arrington said the magic words.  He understands what actions could actually help a young person in distress and that makes my heart almost, sorta sing (I don’t want to get too flamboyant!).

Children who have been sexually abused – or physically or emotionally abused for that matter – will act out. Children aren’t mad for no reason. Children act out because they don’t have the language skills to express what they’re feeling. Their behavior is giving us clues that they are in pain and sometimes clues to what is causing their pain. It’s up to adults to pay attention to the behavior and not assume a child is being difficult for shits and giggles.

After I was sexually abused I exhibited behaviors that were textbook clues that something was wrong. In my earlier years I was withdrawn, quiet, sad, and resisted authority. In my teens I was all those things and angry, angry, angry.  In my 20’s I was all those things and wild, self-destructive, and more self-destructive.  In my 30’s I was all those things and persistently tried to be numb.

I don’t know how I would have reacted if somebody did what LaVar Arrington says he will do. I might not have been able to open up while I was still repressing memories – and I’ll never know. If an adult told me that I wasn’t fooling anybody… that my pain was visible through my behavior… damn.  That’s an adult we should all strive to emulate.

Recaps of Trial Day 6